La Maison Suisse Döttingen

Ah, where to begin with what was undoubtedly the most unforgettable stay we've ever had—though for all the wrong reasons. We arrived as a family of four, only to be charmingly split into two different blocks. Now, that wouldn't have been a problem if everything else had been flawless, but naturally, it wasn't. Despite booking identical rooms (with kitchen) on Trip.com, we were graced with two entirely different accommodations. One had the luxury of air conditioning and a kitchen, while the other was deprived of both. The receptionist, bless her heart, didn’t bother to inform us of these glaring discrepancies. One might think that as a member of the hotel staff, she’d know the difference between the rooms, but alas, that expectation was too high. As luck would have it, by the time we discovered this delightful surprise, it was already past their working hours (23:00, to be precise). The notice at reception cheerily informed us that for any after-hours questions, we could call one of two numbers for assistance. How reassuring! Except, the first number redirected us to a mailbox. The second number? Well, the phone in the reception area rang. Yes, you read that right—the phone right in front of us. Brilliant. So, a word to the wise: if you stay here, ensure you have absolutely no questions, issues, or need for help after 23:00. And don’t forget your room's door password (no keys or cards here). If you do forget it, well, good luck to you. Think it couldn't get worse? Think again. The bathroom glass had a lovely toothpaste stain, and the floor was adorned with hair. Clearly, the housekeeping staff had a unique interpretation of cleanliness. The next morning, breakfast was a spectacle. A tour group had descended, and the food was insufficient. The refills were painfully slow. To top it off, people used their bare hands to grab food, and the staff, ever vigilant, did absolutely nothing to stop them. This was unequivocally the worst stay ever. I deeply regret staying here.